Holly Kretschmer, Registered Psychotherapist

I remember thinking at age 32, “how is going back to painful life experiences going to help me have a better quality of life today?”.  It wasn’t easy in the beginning to believe that this could actually make a difference in my life, I thought “why should I get into all my pain without any guaranteed result?”. But I was unhappy and decided to take a leap of faith.

It was not always easy to keep faith in the process when I was experiencing challenging, painful and darker feelings —like feelings of not being loveable or worthlessness and despair. But finally, after months of enduring the process of releasing my pain, I began to feel a shift from within myself… and gradually started to feel better. Lighter. Happier. Clearer. More at peace with myself.

What I learned is that feeling is an active process that requires a courageous willingness to live our experiences right through to completion. This means staying with our feelings (even the immensely difficult ones) until they are truly done and having faith that you will heal.

Be authentic. Feel the heartbreak and anger; feel all of your feelings. Ultimately, it brings you closer to your true self.  If you had a cruel parent, move past your anger and feel into the heartbreak. If you lost a loved one, grieve the loss. There is a meaningful difference between intellectually understanding and emotionally processing your experiences. True healing occurs when we honour and value our feelings.

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Copyright © 2015 Holly Kretschmer.
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