Holly Kretschmer, Registered Psychotherapist

The Healing is in the Feeling

In my teens and early twenties, I remember feeling a low grade of flatness and numbness and had difficultly feeling happiness inside and did not know what to do about this.

I began to read self-help books.  Some books helped to a certain degree but for the most part I felt stuck in these feelings even though I was moving on in life.  It wasn’t until my father died suddenly when I was seven months pregnant that I went to therapy. I was in shock and felt a deep loss and sadness.  It took a year before I found the right therapist.  Actually, I joined an eight week women’s support group where we were encouraged to share with the group what we were feeling.  The therapist/facilitator listened empathically to each of us and took the lead in validating our feelings and experiences.  It was a new concept for me.  Feelings were not validated or spoken about in my family growing up.  It was in that circle, with women who were being real with their feelings and me with mine that I felt ‘heard’ and my ‘feelings validated’ for the first time in my life.  I remember feeling this is where I need to be.  It felt right.

I entered therapy after the support group ended with that therapist.  Early on in my therapy, I learned that it wasn’t enough to intellectually know what happened to me, it was important that I feel through unfelt feelings that had been stored in my body in order to heal.  This was, at times not easy to do… bringing to the surface emotional pain that had been buried throughout my life to be felt and integrated within.

Truly the healing is in the feeling.  It bears mentioning again that it is not enough to know what happened to us, for true healing to occur we must allow our bodies to finish the unfelt feelings of our childhood wounds that get in our way of feeling happiness, clarity and contentment today.Girl with arms outstretched at sunset

Copyright © 2015 Holly Kretschmer.
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